Someone shared this story in the Facebook today and I thought this is a good article to share as this story strikes a cord with me.
I purposely titled this as "...a Fulfilling Marriage" and not "...a Happy Marriage" as the word "happy" is just superficial in marriage as I am discovering is NEVER a bed of roses. Especially, when you are bound by the traditional family values and cultures in this Asian society. It takes 2 to tango or both hands to clap, so to speak.
For a marriage to work, BOTH parties need to communicate effectively and if one is emotionally distant, the other partner will suffer hence the breakdown.
So there you go, happy reading and hope a lesson is learnt from this.
"I met this friend who just divorced with his wife not long ago. He told me this, "after the divorce, i just realized, in fact, we need to wash and brush the toilet bowl almost everyday. In fact, to take care our kids, we need alot of patience and sacrifice our freedom"...
He continued to tell me more about his ex-wife, who used to be a very playful girl. He felt blessed that she had totally transformed into a good wife after their marriage.
Upon the birth of their 1st child, he continues to work and frequently go home late due to work. His wife did not say anything because she tried to understand her husband's situation.
Their 2nd child born. He worked even harder and spent even more time at work til late nights or not coming home. His wife was tired, she wished he could spend more time at home with her and the kids.
He said, "i need to work, i need to earn more money"...
Wife was even more upset when her in laws with conservative mindset keep blaming her as mother when the kids are not behaving well to please them.
After 8 years of marriage, she asked, "it have been 8 yrs since we got married, what have u done for the family?"
He got upset when his wife asking this. He shouted to her, "cant u see? I worked so hard to earn money for living, to support the family. I worked til late night everyday and its tiring. If this is not for the family, tell me what else u want. U just eat, everyday live peaceful life and free at home, do anything u as u like. Tell me if there's any other woman out there who have better life than u??!"
Wife said, "now i realized all my tolerance are meaningless, all that i've done for the family means nothing. The kids are grown up knowing how to behave, how to think and u assumed its all happen naturally without needing someone to guide them, teach them, spend time with them and explain to them"
He shouted louder to his wife, "i need to work for money. i need to support the family. who give u money to spend? Who give you full meals to eat? Without me, how do u think the kids can grown up?"
His wife asked, "without the kids, do u stop working? without the family, do u still need to work? without me, do u still need to earn money? U still need to, right?"
Silence.
His wife left quietly...
The husband assumed he can look for a new mom for his kids. But he couldnt manage them. Cries, kids fighting happened at home almost everyday. And he just couldnt find himself anymore freedom.
He finally knew, kids wont grown up themselves without someone to guide them. It tooks plenty of patience, effort to explain to them. He finally knew there is no freedom when taking care of kids. He also finally knew the reason behind the clean white toilet bowl at home when he has to knee down brushing the bowl everyday when the kids are
asleep.
He realized he has not know how to love a woman who has wasted 10 years with him.
Whether ur wife is a maid, or a babysitter or just a woman to deliver ur next generation, its all depends on u. And be prepared to knee down everyday washing brushing ur toilet bowl at home..."
In the end, love is not the ONLY ingredient for a marriage to last but tolerance, understanding as well as sacrifice.
Wishing you a fulfilling marriage.
Cheers, XOXO!
