Tolerance, Understanding & Sacrifices - the Key Ingredients of a Fulfilling Marriage

Someone shared this story in the Facebook today and I thought this is a good article to share as this story strikes a cord with me.

I purposely titled this as "...a Fulfilling Marriage" and not "...a Happy Marriage" as the word "happy" is just superficial in marriage as I am discovering is NEVER a bed of roses. Especially, when you are bound by the traditional family values and cultures in this Asian society. It takes 2 to tango or both hands to clap, so to speak.

For a marriage to work, BOTH parties need to communicate effectively and if one is emotionally distant, the other partner will suffer hence the breakdown.

So there you go, happy reading and hope a lesson is learnt from this.

"I met this friend who just divorced with his wife not long ago. He told me this, "after the divorce, i just realized, in fact, we need to wash and brush the toilet bowl almost everyday. In fact, to take care our kids, we need alot of patience and sacrifice our freedom"...
He continued to tell me more about his ex-wife, who used to be a very playful girl. He felt blessed that she had totally transformed into a good wife after their marriage.
Upon the birth of their 1st child, he continues to work and frequently go home late due to work. His wife did not say anything because she tried to understand her husband's situation.

Their 2nd child born. He worked even harder and spent even more time at work til late nights or not coming home. His wife was tired, she wished he could spend more time at home with her and the kids.

He said, "i need to work, i need to earn more money"...
Wife was even more upset when her in laws with conservative mindset keep blaming her as mother when the kids are not behaving well to please them.
After 8 years of marriage, she asked, "it have been 8 yrs since we got married, what have u done for the family?"

He got upset when his wife asking this. He shouted to her, "cant u see? I worked so hard to earn money for living, to support the family. I worked til late night everyday and its tiring. If this is not for the family, tell me what else u want. U just eat, everyday live peaceful life and free at home, do anything u as u like. Tell me if there's any other woman out there who have better life than u??!"

Wife said, "now i realized all my tolerance are meaningless, all that i've done for the family means nothing. The kids are grown up knowing how to behave, how to think and u assumed its all happen naturally without needing someone to guide them, teach them, spend time with them and explain to them"

He shouted louder to his wife, "i need to work for money. i need to support the family. who give u money to spend? Who give you full meals to eat? Without me, how do u think the kids can grown up?"

His wife asked, "without the kids, do u stop working? without the family, do u still need to work? without me, do u still need to earn money? U still need to, right?"
Silence.
His wife left quietly...

The husband assumed he can look for a new mom for his kids. But he couldnt manage them. Cries, kids fighting happened at home almost everyday. And he just couldnt find himself anymore freedom.
He finally knew, kids wont grown up themselves without someone to guide them. It tooks plenty of patience, effort to explain to them. He finally knew there is no freedom when taking care of kids. He also finally knew the reason behind the clean white toilet bowl at home when he has to knee down brushing the bowl everyday when the kids are
asleep.

He realized he has not know how to love a woman who has wasted 10 years with him.
Whether ur wife is a maid, or a babysitter or just a woman to deliver ur next generation, its all depends on u. And be prepared to knee down everyday washing brushing ur toilet bowl at home..."

In the end, love is not the ONLY ingredient for a marriage to last but tolerance, understanding as well as sacrifice.

Wishing you a fulfilling marriage.

Cheers, XOXO!

SOS! My baby's on bottle strike.....

It's the 3rd day baby rejects the bottle! Any advice?

Smiley Baby

Baby C just loves to smile, even though she's less than a month old.

Is it due to gas, as some research claim? Here's a reference as to why my babe does so. Even though there's no emo content or whatever the scientific reasons, her smile is contagious that I nicknamed her Sunshine... There's this left-side grin, a full smile, a drunken smile (after a feeding session).

According to an old wives tale, a "bed guardian" (zhong dao por por - in cantonese) will play with babies during their slumber. The baby will smile when he/she wins and cry when he/she loses...

Have several unsucessuful attempts at snapping candid pics of her smile but am not giving up! *smiles* Coz all these moments are priceless *wink*.

Cheers!
XOXO

My experience as FPP (full paying patient) @ Hospital Selayang

I've just given birth my 2nd child at Hospital Selayang via the FPP (Full Paying Patient) option .

Decided to switch from private to govt hospital during my 36th weeks of pregnancy and they still accepted me. Whew, what a relief as initiallly I wondered if they would accept me since I'm in the advanced stage of preggers.

Under this option,I get to select my doctor/gynae and given the priority lane instead of waiting under a long queue for a check-up. There were 3 gynae to choose from, and I went for Dr Phillip. He's a caring doctor and had a good sense of humour - he even encouraged me to to for VBAC (my 1st child was c-section)even though I opted for elective c-section. He assured me that he'll give me 6 hours to go for natural birth if Baby wanted to arrive before the selected date.

Finally, Baby decided to wait until the c-section day, and I was required to admit into the hospital a day before the op. After registration, the labour ward docs & nurses conducted a check-up on me & Baby's heartbeat. Waited quite a while for my room to be ready, as the earlier patient was not discharged yet. When the room was ready, I was quite impressed that the room is spacious - fyi, only your hubs or mother can bunk-in to accompany you during the night (that's a special privilage), with private bathroom & TV. So I get all the privacy I want (Yay!)

My op was scheduled during noon as there were other earlier cases before me, so the nurses adviced me to fast from 10pm that night. Not even a sip of water...sigh! The next day (D-day!!!), was wheeled to the op theather and the anaesthetic doc, Dr Norliza was getting ready to do her thing. I must say, she's really a pro coz I don't feel any jab pain at my spine at all. A Muslim nurse cited a short & heartfelt prayer before the op, and I knew that I will in their good hands.

The op went smoothly and Baby let out a soft cry when she came out. Later, Baby & I were wheeled to my room after observation. There is no nursery facility, so all babies are roomed-in with their mommies. I kinda like this idea, as I'm able to observe Baby 24/7. Well, a little tiring though but Mom bunked in that night to see if I needed any help. The hospital itself is baby-friendly and the nurses were very knowledgable about breastfeeding and baby care as compared to my first delivery at the private hospital.

All in all, my delivery experience has been pleasant and the charges were quite affordable. Do check it out if you are considering this as choice for your delivery. FYI, Putrajaya Hospital has also FPP option. Heard thst their facilities are even better...

Till then. Cheers!

XOXO